Led by Truth

A few weeks ago I found a website that you can upload your photos and do some pretty fun things with them. So I was goofing around and uploaded pictures of me and the kids. This morning I was cleaning off my desktop on my computer and opened up this picture. It's just a picture of me but I've been converted into some kind of museum display that is being gawked at by various people. Just before I hit delete, I had this moment of realization that this doctored picture represents so much of the emotion that has encumbered me these last two years. I won't go into all the events that have transpired but the results of those events have left our family in the critics' eye. Now, anyone who has ever been in a position of leadership knows that there are always going to be critics, that is accepted. The difficult thing to accept is the final judgement by those individuals who do not understand the subject they are gawking at. Even worse, is the passing of that judgement from person to person, people who have no personal information or relationship to the subject. This is not exclusive to leadership either, this social defect sabotages students, coworkers, television personalities, families, etc. Why is it that people feel entitled to determine "truth" about an individual by merely discussing them with others rather than actually talking TO them? Is it just easier or do we feel entitled to our opinions and therefore choose to believe our opinions are factual? Facebook and other social networks certainly do not help. One comment on a social network can begin a flurry of speculation and opinion. Let me add here that everyone is guilty of this. Face it, it's easier to come to an assumed conclusion and let that be our own personal "fact" than to attempt to find resolution or seek out truth. After all, the truth might not be what we wanted to hear or even worse, it may not be any of our business. Next time you make a presumption about a person or a situation, ask yourself this question, "Does this have anything to do with me and/or am I part of the problem or solution?" If the answer is "No", make it a personal challenge to not formulate "truth." If you are a victim of speculation, remember that truth always has a way of revealing itself. Practice good character and you will find yourself supported by people of equal character. Practice poor character and... well, you get the picture.

Psalm 25:1-5 "O Lord, I give my life to you. I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat. No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others. Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."

Girls Day Out at the Dairy Queen

Have you ever put on something first thing in the morning only to look in the mirror half way through the day to discover you don't look the way you thought you did? Maybe a big toothpaste stain down the front of your shirt or your buttons were one off causing the entire shirt to be shifted all the way down. Perhaps your fly was left open or you had a big rip in the seat of your pants. Today we headed home from a 4 day camping trip and, knowing that we were heading straight home, I got up, through my hair into a pony tail and tossed on a pair of ragged cut off denim shorts, flip flops and an old tank top. Just 40 miles from home, nature began to call and we had to stop at a Dairy Queen. We pulled up in "Dimples" (our hail damaged RV), dropped our pop cans in the trash outside the door, shoved our way through the line of people, and headed straight to the bathrooms. It is at this point that I see a mirror for the first time. Holy mother of pearl! How did my husband and son not notice that my tank top not only had deodorant stains under both arms but did not sufficiently cover my ... my... uh ... SELF? It was quite obvious that I had chosen to wear a black bra and that I appeared to have wanted everyone else to see it as well. We're not just talking straps here either, people. I'm talking minimal coverage coming from this tank top. Okay, so now I'm irritated because not only had those who are closest to me not mentioned it, or seemed to be bothered by it, they let me trap myself in the Dairy Queen bathroom. It seemed there was no other way out but to just walk out with my girls held high and get out of there as quickly as possible. I pulled money out of my wallet in the bathroom so that I could quickly hand it to my husband as I made my escape. On your mark, get set, go! I hurried out the door, walked up to Phil, handed him the money and said "I'm going to the camper." Phil says "Wait! What do you want to eat?" "I don't care. Just get me the chicken finger basket." "Wait! Is this enough money?" I proceeded to pull every dime out of my wallet. "Here. This is all the money I have." "Wait!" he says. "Do you want ice cream?" Okay, gotta be honest, I'm not real happy at this point. The audience has grown and we are definitely drawing attention to ourselves. "I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT MODEST. I'M GOING TO THE CAMPER. GET WHATEVER!" and I ran out the door. Ten minutes later he walks out with a big grin and says with a childlike voice, "I got you a peanut buster parfait!" He has no idea the humiliation I've just experienced or the public exhibition I just displayed but he is grinning over the great joy of bringing me my favorite ice cream. Now why do I think that had I walked through the Dairy Queen wearing a Chicago Cubs jersey, he would have dropped his jaw or maybe whistled? He may not be the most observant guy but I love him!

Painted Into a Corner

“In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing” - Vincent van Gogh

Vincent van Gogh was born in 1853 and was the son of a Pastor. He was brought up in a cultured and religious home but was highly emotional and lacked self-confidence. His life was filled with disappointments. Lost loves, poor health, epilepsy, and fits of insanity which landed him in an asylum for a time. In May of 1890, Vincent van Gogh shot himself at the young age of 37. As reputable as Vincent van Gogh is in the art world today, during his lifetime he sold only ONE PAINTING. Only one! He never saw his success or the fruit of his labor. He never experienced the joy of success, fame, or fortune. At Eternity’s Gate (1882) , depicts an old man seated by a fire, his head buried in his hands. Bent over with his fists clenched against a face hidden in utter frustration, the subject appears engulfed in grief. The work would convey an image of total despair if not for its title. Even in the deepest moments of sorrow and pain, van Gogh clung to his faith in God and eternity, which he tried to express in his work. These past few months, I find myself in a corner much like the man in the painting. I've surrendered my life to God and know that the prize is yet to come and yet I find myself in the shadows, fists clenched, and face buried in sadness. Hurt, frustration and rejection have left me completely drained and totally dependent on my faith in God and eternity. As easy as it would be to walk away from the lonely existence of being in this work, I will "take up my pencil... and I will go on with my drawing" because the work ironically, is truly my joy.