So Help Me God

A well-known California atheist and 17 others filed suit today in D.C.’s District Court to strip all references to God and religion from President-elect Barack Obama’s January inauguration ceremony. Michael Newdow of Sacramento, Calif., says he wants to remove the phrase “so help me God” from the oath of office, plus ax the invocation prayer from Pastor Rick Warren, already under fire from the left for his opposition to gay marriage. Michael Newdow, a well-known atheist, argues that any reference to God or religion violates the Constitution and that “By placing ‘so help me God’ in its oaths and sponsoring prayers to God, government is lending its power to one side of perhaps the greatest religious controversy: God’s existence or non-existence.”

The first amendment of the Constitution says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress (redress: to set right, remedy or rectify, correction) of grievances."

The amendment clearly states that the president, or anyone else for that matter, can use the name of God in a speech, and atheists are welcome to petition the Government to keep God's name out of that speech. This doesn't sound like a religious fight, this sounds like a political petition to grab media attention for the atheist movement, so I propose we start a petition to add the name of God to every political speech during the month of January. Believers have just as much right according to the Constitution as atheists to petition our beliefs upon the political powers that be. All in favor, say "AYE!"

Puffiness

Today... I am puffy. Not sure why. It is possible... I'm not saying that I did... but it is possible that I ate way too much over Christmas week. This isn't my fault though. We were on vacation at Disneyworld and the meals were part of the vacation package so it would have been like throwing money out the window if I hadn't eaten, right? It was suggested that the puffiness might be from the flight home but I was puffy before I got on the plane, otherwise that would have been an awesome excuse! You know you've put on a few pounds when you get to the roller coaster ride at a place like Disneyworld and the attendant checks YOUR seat bar to make sure it latched. Why not check the little cutie in front of me or the 4 year old in the front car, huh? I've apparently grown into the amusement park category of high liability risk! Now, I know I'm not what they call "morbidly obese" but it is seriously time to drop some pounds. Options for doing that:

1) Surgically remove any unnecessary bodily organs. This is a good option however it is very expensive and I'm not sure I have very many of these left. Tonsils, appendix, gull bladder, ear lobes... what do you think those weigh, 5 or 10 pounds?
2) Liposuction. This is also very expensive and would leave me riddled with holes from my neck to my ankles. Not the kind of holiness I'm looking for.
3) Influenza. This is a promising solution that promises to drop 4 to 10 pounds within just a few days, however, it is extremely messy and requires family members to care for you. I fear with the Xbox in the other room, I might die.
4) Diet. If you break down this word it has brings up many concerns. The first 3 letters are DIE. If you did not already know, this is not good. If you rearrange the letters it spells EDIT. Now I could probably edit what I eat a little better so this is an option. I hate lettuce and carrots so I'll edit those out first. Meat can go. Corn, green beans, peas, raddishes, cabbage, anything that has color... gone. That leaves rice, bread, ice cream, pretty much all things that are white.
5) Exercise. This is difficult because I don't like exercise. I don't like it for a reason though, it hurts. Much like dying, hurting is bad.

I'm not sure what other options there are but will continue the search. Until the pounds come off, I get the flu, or my organs fall out, I guess I'll edit and exercise. This makes me grumpy to think about.

Happy Birthday!

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I know it is for alot of people but it has special significance for me because my birthday falls just 2 days after Christmas. In fact, my parents named me Wendi Noel, which means Christmas. I used to resent having to share my birthday with Jesus because my birthday always seemed to be an afterthought. I mean, it's not like my birthday holds the same significance as Jesus, right? My parents always tried to make it special for me though by putting away all the Christmas decorations on December 26th so that the 27th was just for me. The significance of my birthday has changed though as I've gotten older. I look now at my birthday, not as a celebration of ME, but more of a celebration of another year of life. With that celebration comes the gift of looking forward to the year to come and the gift of life that still awaits me. Face it, if you are celebrating your birthday, you are still alive and that's worth celebrating! So, with that in mind, each year we celebrate Christ's birthday on December 25th (though we are not sure what the actual date of His birth really is.) Since customarily we do not celebrate birthdays if you are dead, doesn't that mean an overwhelming acceptance that Jesus Christ is still alive? Ask anyone who celebrates Christmas what the holiday is for and they will tell you "Jesus' birth" whether or not they choose to accept His existence as real. Without realizing it, people set up trees, decorate their homes, give gifts, prepare food, send cards, and visit family all in celebration of not just a baby's birth, but the fact that He is still alive! His life continues to be worth celebrating each and every year. Happy birthday, Jesus!!

A Great Idea

I just had the greatest idea!! The biggest hassle at Christmas time is trying to figure out what everyone wants for Christmas. How do you find the perfect gift for everyone on your Christmas list? Here's my idea. What if you could go to Walmart or Target and register for Christmas like the brides and mothers-to-be do? Your Christmas list could be scanned in and printed out for your loved ones all over the United States. The wish list could even be sorted into different price ranges. How cool would that be? You could get a scanner for each of the kids and take them to the store and let them beep beep beep all the stuff they want. Hmmm? I think this idea has potential. Who do I need to contact to get rich off of this idea?

The Perfect Gift for the Man in Your Life

This is it, girls! I just recently learned of a gift that is perfect for the man in your life who already has everything. They are called Mantyhose and they are the greatest thing I've seen in a long time! Their website claims that wearing mantyhose promotes circulation and even improves athletic performance so why wouldn't they like them? Mantyhose come in a variety of styles and colors too. Women have worn them for decades with rave reviews from the men. I think it's a great idea to have the guys wear them for a change. Forget the sport socks and sandals, let your men dress up and show some style. I would guess that a man bag would have to be a necessary accessory so they would have something to carry their clear nail polish in, in case of unexpected runners. I personally quit wearing pantyhose a long time ago. It didn't seem to matter what size or length I purchased, I always ended up with a big runner in the thigh by the time the day was over. Now for most women, this might not be a problem but my thighs tend to ooze out if not properly contained so an unsightly hole in the hose makes for some disturbing bulges. My pantyhose never seemed to pull on straight either. One leg always seemed to be twisted all the way to the top. This unfortunate occurance meant horizontal striped stockings were out of the question, otherwise we would have what I call the "candycane effect." In highschool, my friend Jenni and I thought we might could capitalize on the inevitable runner and make it a fashion trend. It never did catch on like we had hoped. We ultimately bought more leg warmers and just covered up the runners. Unfortunately the leg warmer trend didn't stick around very long either. It seems my fashion fate is doomed. Now the Mantyhose seem to raise a few questions in my mind. As a woman, I know that you can only avoid shaving your legs and wearing pantyhose for a few days without getting porcupineage. It would seem that men would have to shave to get the desired look and avoid unsightly twisted hair patterns beneath the surface of their mantyhose. Other concerns that come to mind with regards to mantyhose are toe reinforcements for male dagger toenails and urinal usage. I'll avoid expounding. So, if you are looking for the gift that your man would never guess to be under the tree on Christmas morning, go with the Mantyhose. Mantyhose also make a great STOCKING stuffer. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Falling Down

After 17 years of children in our lives we finally did it. Monday evening we had our first bone breakage. Kyle took off on his skateboard of death and about 20 minutes later I got a call on my cell phone from Wes. Wes says Kyle is crying and claims he broke his arm. I jumped in the car and drove over to the neighborhood park where they like to play and there was Kyle, sitting next to his skateboard on the park bench. I asked him how he hurt his arm and he said, with tears streaming down his dirty face, he fell off the monkey bars. What? All the skateboard accident anticipation and he falls off the monkey bars? Like mother, like son! When I was Kyle's age I broke my arm skating, and again later playing volleyball (got caught in the net... stop laughing... seriously... I was trying to spike the ball), and again falling off a ladder. Okay, I'll admit, I fall... alot! I can't help it. It's what I do. It's my spiritual gift. I fall. Someday, when we fall at the feet of Jesus and lay our crowns and trophies at His feet, it won't be so funny that Kyle and I have all this experience falling. We'll be the first ones down. Woo hoooo! Kyle's doing better today and will be back at school tomorrow with his school colors wrapped around his right wrist. He fell but he got back up and is heading back out into the world with a broken wing. He's looking at the bright side - he doesn't have to go to P.E. for 6 weeks! There is a quote by Clarissa Estes that says "Refuse to fall down. If you cannot refuse to fall down, refuse to stay down, lift your heart toward heaven like a hungry beggar, ask that it be filled and it will be filled. You may be pushed down. You may be kept from rising. But no one can keep you from lifting your heart toward heaven - only you. It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear. The one who says nothing good came of this is not yet listening."

What Will My Story Be?

Everyone has a story they like to tell. You know the story I'm talking about, the story that makes you either look so absolutely ridiculous that it's funny, or the one that makes you look like you could have been famous, or that connects you with someone else that's famous. For instance, you know the famous marching band leader and song writer John Philip Sousa, he's Phil's cousin, fourth cousin actually. Phil's grandmother used to talk about how she and John Philip Sousa would go to family reunions. That doesn't make Phil famous but it's a good name to put on his resume if he's ever interviewing for a marching band director job. Wouldn't it be so cool to be related to someone famous that actually cared enough for their family that they still showed up at family reunions? My friend Joyce tells stories of her family ties to the New York mob. Now that's the kind of people I have managed to surround myself with, mobsters! My grandfather was actually investigated as a suspect in the BTK killings in Wichita. He owned a house where a BTK murder took place and they found footprints so the police confiscated my grandfather's shoes. I've met famous people and received emails from famous people but I can't say that their fame has ever rubbed off on me or made me any more notorious. My notoriety has to come from my own accomplishments, not the achievements of the people I associate with. I don't aspire to be known or remembered for any one thing although being a hero doesn't sound so bad. It is my goal to be found faithful to God and the kind of person that my children and hopefully other people would want to emulate. I don't think I'm there yet but it's a good goal to reach for. Maybe someday, someone, somewhere will be able to drop my name in a story and say "I knew Wendi. She was true and faithful."